PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

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REVIEW Ã South of Forgiveness Nger to violence and the healing power of forgiveness South of Forgiveness is an unprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator each eually committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives It is a true story about being bent but not broken of facing fear with courage and of finding hope even in the most wounded of plac. Excellent book well written brave and truthful This book is a breakthrough with a lot of wit and beauty as well as raw pain

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REVIEW Ã South of Forgiveness A woman a man a rape and a hard journey from violence to reconciliationOne ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to do an extraordinary thing fly seven thousand miles south to meet up with the man who raped her when she was just sixteenMeanwhile in Sydney Australia Tom Stran. What is this about South of Forgiveness is well about forgiveness Thordis Elva was raped by her then boyfriend Tom Stranger when she was 16 This book chronicles their meeting in Cape Town South Africa and their attempt to find their peace and their forgivenessWhat else is this about Rape culture about date rape about the effects of it and the struggle to get past it Thordis is brutally honest in her accounts of what Tom did and how it changed her And here s what I never thought I d be typing so is TomRape is an action that is about power about a man or woman taking what they want sexually without consent It s terrifying and unforgiveableBut what South of Forgiveness has taught me is that I we have no right to judge how survivors cope with rape It s not about what we think it s about what makes it possible for them to go on every day to find peace or solace or whatever they are seeking for their sanity As their loved ones we have to let them take that journey support them and love them and let them know they re safeI judged it you will tooBefore opening the book I had judged it Thordis and Tom But by the end I knew that I might never truly understand their relationship but I could not help but admire the strength of them both in putting their story out into the world Let me be clear Tom raped Thordis and this is not a defence Telling his part in the story does not diminish what he has done or absolve him of it but he is telling his story in an effort to ensure people learn from itIt took a long time for me to understand my reaction to him in this bookSouth of Forgiveness is told by Thordis and Tom in alternating chapters that chronicle their past together and their meeting in Cape Town South Africa This is about how they journeyed towards a sense of peace between themselves and in themselves and most importantly it s their story You will ask what happened that fateful night and why he wasn t arrested and while they are touched on in the book it s not the important part of the storyAs a whole there is a big difference in the way Thordis and Tom write for she is an accomplished author in Iceland Her chapters are filled with the details of the world around them in Cape Town of Tom physically and her noticing a group of men watching her intently in Cape Town Tom s chapters are turned inward to where his grief and self loathing exist in an effort to make his peace with it in a way something Thordis does want for him But both are essential to understanding their storyCape TownSouth Africa is called the Rape Capital of the World so it is ironic or apt that they find themselves there in an effort to find peace and reconciliation between themselves When the book opens it s been eight years of emails before they decide to make this trip and both are filled with trepidation Thordis describes her fiance s reservations and her parents but also their support Tom is a nomad of sorts and he is already there in Cape Town when she arrivesTheir meeting is strained and the book follows them as they wander through the city telling each other of life before they met and life after Thordis traces her failed relationships and her decisions back to Tom and his raping her while Tom does the same Her story looms large for me as I think she is a remarkable strong woman and not to mention Woman of the Year in Iceland in 2015 While Tom s story seems lesser within the chapters in the book it isn t I m not uite sure how to talk about him but I focus on the fact that Thordis forgives himTom does not know why he raped her He couldn t really acknowledge what he did do to her for a long time He is anchorless in the book looking for something forgiveness before he can make himself stop and allow himself a life and someone else to love It s clear he wants to give Thordis whatever she needs from him in their conversations but it is harder still for him to acknowledge that she doesn t need the pedestal he s placed her on as the person who was wronged int heir relationshipHow do you forgiveSouth Africa is the country in which I was born and lived until I was 18 South Africa is also a country whose history is steeped in ineuality and apartheid and the country bears its wounds in their society and culture and their art and writing It s ironic to read of Thordis caution and her noticing the men in Cape Town staring at her while she is in Cape Town with the man she knew that raped her This history is interspersed in their travels in Cape Town until it comes to a head in Robben Island the prison where Nelson Mandela lived for 27 years On a tour there it emerges their guide is a former prisoner tortured and imprisoned for 7 years there They ask him if he could forgive his jailors and his answer is simple Yes Because that s how you move forwardUntil this point I have never been able to understand how Mandela or any prisoner could forgive but in that moment reading that line I didTheir journeyWith the agreement to share their story and their situation there is nowhere for Thordis or Tom to hide within the pages of this book As a result the writing here is brutally honest for to be any less would be a disservice to each other These chapters are stark and uncompromising each relating how difficult it is to meet and how nervous they are This journey and their relationship through emails isn t a journey without fights and arguments but it s also clear how hard they attempt to make this work for both their sakesSlowly as the book progresses there s a certain ease that creeps into the chapters as they pass each milestone for instance like Thordis noticing their knees touching in a bus or Tom sharing that he told his parents and their reactions As a result there is an overwhelming sense of progress of a long journey that is on it s way to an ending of sorts for both of them It charts how their writing evolves from chapters filled with tension to one that are fragile almost for by the time they leave they are these new different beings heading out into the world without the rape hanging out about their necks They do not let it define them any and the choice to go public to teach others of their experiences is them both taking their control back from that nightTom Stranger raped Thordis Elva There is no changing that fact or the horror you may find at feeling yourself understand this man or you may hate him that s fine too But Thordis and he are standing on the world s stage telling their story and if someone anyone learns something positive from it learns to change I think it s a story worth telling and we d have both of them to thank for that Blameless in Abaddon goodbye before boarding a plane to do an extraordinary thing fly seven thousand miles south to meet up with the man who raped her when she was just sixteenMeanwhile in Sydney Australia Tom Stran. What is this about South of Forgiveness is well about forgiveness Thordis Elva was raped by her then boyfriend Tom Stranger when she was 16 This book chronicles their meeting in Cape Town South Africa and their attempt to find their peace and their forgivenessWhat else is this about Rape culture about date rape about the effects of it and the struggle to Croatie - 9ed get past it Thordis is brutally honest in her accounts of what Tom did and how it changed her And here s what I never thought I d be typing so is TomRape is an action that is about power about a man or woman taking what they want sexually without consent It s terrifying and unforgiveableBut what South of Forgiveness has taught me is that I we have no right to judge how survivors cope with rape It s not about what we think it s about what makes it possible for them to One Day At A Time go on every day to find peace or solace or whatever they are seeking for their sanity As their loved ones we have to let them take that journey support them and love them and let them know they re safeI judged it you will tooBefore opening the book I had judged it Thordis and Tom But by the end I knew that I might never truly understand their relationship but I could not help but admire the strength of them both in putting their story out into the world Let me be clear Tom raped Thordis and this is not a defence Telling his part in the story does not diminish what he has done or absolve him of it but he is telling his story in an effort to ensure people learn from itIt took a long time for me to understand my reaction to him in this bookSouth of Forgiveness is told by Thordis and Tom in alternating chapters that chronicle their past together and their meeting in Cape Town South Africa This is about how they journeyed towards a sense of peace between themselves and in themselves and most importantly it s their story You will ask what happened that fateful night and why he wasn t arrested and while they are touched on in the book it s not the important part of the storyAs a whole there is a big difference in the way Thordis and Tom write for she is an accomplished author in Iceland Her chapters are filled with the details of the world around them in Cape Town of Tom physically and her noticing a 41 Closets group of men watching her intently in Cape Town Tom s chapters are turned inward to where his Red Riding Hood grief and self loathing exist in an effort to make his peace with it in a way something Thordis does want for him But both are essential to understanding their storyCape TownSouth Africa is called the Rape Capital of the World so it is ironic or apt that they find themselves there in an effort to find peace and reconciliation between themselves When the book opens it s been eight years of emails before they decide to make this trip and both are filled with trepidation Thordis describes her fiance s reservations and her parents but also their support Tom is a nomad of sorts and he is already there in Cape Town when she arrivesTheir meeting is strained and the book follows them as they wander through the city telling each other of life before they met and life after Thordis traces her failed relationships and her decisions back to Tom and his raping her while Tom does the same Her story looms large for me as I think she is a remarkable strong woman and not to mention Woman of the Year in Iceland in 2015 While Tom s story seems lesser within the chapters in the book it isn t I m not uite sure how to talk about him but I focus on the fact that Thordis forgives himTom does not know why he raped her He couldn t really acknowledge what he did do to her for a long time He is anchorless in the book looking for something forgiveness before he can make himself stop and allow himself a life and someone else to love It s clear he wants to Irreparable Damage Irreparable #1 give Thordis whatever she needs from him in their conversations but it is harder still for him to acknowledge that she doesn t need the pedestal he s placed her on as the person who was wronged int heir relationshipHow do you forgiveSouth Africa is the country in which I was born and lived until I was 18 South Africa is also a country whose history is steeped in ineuality and apartheid and the country bears its wounds in their society and culture and their art and writing It s ironic to read of Thordis caution and her noticing the men in Cape Town staring at her while she is in Cape Town with the man she knew that raped her This history is interspersed in their travels in Cape Town until it comes to a head in Robben Island the prison where Nelson Mandela lived for 27 years On a tour there it emerges their Weathering guide is a former prisoner tortured and imprisoned for 7 years there They ask him if he could forgive his jailors and his answer is simple Yes Because that s how you move forwardUntil this point I have never been able to understand how Mandela or any prisoner could forgive but in that moment reading that line I didTheir journeyWith the agreement to share their story and their situation there is nowhere for Thordis or Tom to hide within the pages of this book As a result the writing here is brutally honest for to be any less would be a disservice to each other These chapters are stark and uncompromising each relating how difficult it is to meet and how nervous they are This journey and their relationship through emails isn t a journey without fights and arguments but it s also clear how hard they attempt to make this work for both their sakesSlowly as the book progresses there s a certain ease that creeps into the chapters as they pass each milestone for instance like Thordis noticing their knees touching in a bus or Tom sharing that he told his parents and their reactions As a result there is an overwhelming sense of progress of a long journey that is on it s way to an ending of sorts for both of them It charts how their writing evolves from chapters filled with tension to one that are fragile almost for by the time they leave they are these new different beings heading out into the world without the rape hanging out about their necks They do not let it define them any and the choice to Poison Study go public to teach others of their experiences is them both taking their control back from that nightTom Stranger raped Thordis Elva There is no changing that fact or the horror you may find at feeling yourself understand this man or you may hate him that s fine too But Thordis and he are standing on the world s stage telling their story and if someone anyone learns something positive from it learns to change I think it s a story worth telling and we d have both of them to thank for that

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REVIEW Ã South of Forgiveness Ger nervously embarks on an eually life changing journey wondering whether he is worthy of this meetingAfter exchanging hundreds of searingly honest emails over eight years Thordis and Tom decided it was time to speak face to face Coming from opposite sides of the globe they meet in the middle in Cape Town South Africa a country that is no stra. I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour on Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a good book to pick up I am also thinking alot about restorative justice and Thordis s approach to Tom is uniue in that she is less vindictive than one would expect and open to discussion rather than punishmentThe book does a great job of explaining their complex relationship both at the time of the 1996 attack and during their reunion in 2000 I think it highlights a lot of the intricacies faced by survivor and attacker when they share mutual friends and acuaintances and are faced with each other into the future Learning that over 90% of survivors know their attackers the reality of having to face each other is very real and the honesty with which Thordis presents her own rationale and behavior in 2000 is illuminating It makes perfect sense that her reaction to him 4 years later could be one in which she attempts to lash out at him and take back some of the control I found myself wondering about whether we should consider her the sexual attacker in some of these later scenes as she used her attractiveness to hurt him Clearly the violence and pain she inflicted on him was less than he had inflicted on her but the scenes do not exactly glow with mutual consentUltimately though this is a book about finding forgiveness and ability to move forward Thordis and Tom go to great lengths to explore not just the events of that horrible night in 1996 and the summer of 2000 but the ways in which those events reverberated throughout both of their lives The difference between Thordis s experience of having something done to her and Tom s experience of continually doing something to himself is accentuated several times most poignantly I thought when Thordis expresses her frustration with his self pity I clench my jaw in discontent There s a fine line between feeling sorry for having made a mistake and feeling sorry for yourself of having made a mistake In my opinion Tom crossed this line a few times in a our correspondence which left me feeling pressured to take pity on him for being the horrible unworthy failure of a person he felt he was Not only have I always found it ridiculous and out of place for me to pity Tom but I also believe that if people settle into the idea that they re beyond salvation it hinders them from doing constructive things with their livesThordis is an amazing survivor who has done incredible work in this field her ability to face her own demons and be willing to help Tom face his is remarkable I think it also provides a great blue print for thinking about ways to continue to grow restorative justice programs not when the survivors are unwilling but as a way to move towards greater understanding and healing in societyShe also puts the rape in the context of rape culture and misogynistic value multiple times most clearly here But you raped me because I m a girl a girl you felt entitled to Something gave you the idea that your pleasure mattered than my consent even if I was too sick to consent to anything I don t know why Tom But I believe it has something to do with the fact that men have power and influence on all levels of society and that s how it s been for centuries Perhaps this archaic tradition has caused people to adapt to the notion that men are simply important that women Perhaps that s why you felt that you and your lust mattered than me that night From what I know you re what most people would call a normal guy which is why I believe this incident to be part of a much bigger picture where women have less value than men Overall it is a very important book that addresses a topic on which society needs to change Talking about pointing fingers at and understanding the subtle ways in which we socialize boys and girls will help change the rape culture in which we live Weathering globe they meet in the middle in Cape Town South Africa a country that is no stra. I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour on Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a Poison Study good book to pick up I am also thinking alot about restorative justice and Thordis s approach to Tom is uniue in that she is less vindictive than one would expect and open to discussion rather than punishmentThe book does a Primal Hunger Guardians #3 great job of explaining their complex relationship both at the time of the 1996 attack and during their reunion in 2000 I think it highlights a lot of the intricacies faced by survivor and attacker when they share mutual friends and acuaintances and are faced with each other into the future Learning that over 90% of survivors know their attackers the reality of having to face each other is very real and the honesty with which Thordis presents her own rationale and behavior in 2000 is illuminating It makes perfect sense that her reaction to him 4 years later could be one in which she attempts to lash out at him and take back some of the control I found myself wondering about whether we should consider her the sexual attacker in some of these later scenes as she used her attractiveness to hurt him Clearly the violence and pain she inflicted on him was less than he had inflicted on her but the scenes do not exactly The Earl on the Train glow with mutual consentUltimately though this is a book about finding forgiveness and ability to move forward Thordis and Tom An Unuestionable Lady go to The Spaces Between Us great lengths to explore not just the events of that horrible night in 1996 and the summer of 2000 but the ways in which those events reverberated throughout both of their lives The difference between Thordis s experience of having something done to her and Tom s experience of continually doing something to himself is accentuated several times most poignantly I thought when Thordis expresses her frustration with his self pity I clench my jaw in discontent There s a fine line between feeling sorry for having made a mistake and feeling sorry for yourself of having made a mistake In my opinion Tom crossed this line a few times in a our correspondence which left me feeling pressured to take pity on him for being the horrible unworthy failure of a person he felt he was Not only have I always found it ridiculous and out of place for me to pity Tom but I also believe that if people settle into the idea that they re beyond salvation it hinders them from doing constructive things with their livesThordis is an amazing survivor who has done incredible work in this field her ability to face her own demons and be willing to help Tom face his is remarkable I think it also provides a ゆらぎ荘の幽奈さん 1 great blue print for thinking about ways to continue to Liam’s Unexpected Alpha Lupinville #1 grow restorative justice programs not when the survivors are unwilling but as a way to move towards Demigods Academy Year One greater understanding and healing in societyShe also puts the rape in the context of rape culture and misogynistic value multiple times most clearly here But you raped me because I m a Demigods Academy Year Two girl a Iron Insects Invade Indiana American Chillers gave you the idea that your pleasure mattered than my consent even if I was too sick to consent to anything I don t know why Tom But I believe it has something to do with the fact that men have power and influence on all levels of society and that s how it s been for centuries Perhaps this archaic tradition has caused people to adapt to the notion that men are simply important that women Perhaps that s why you felt that you and your lust mattered than me that night From what I know you re what most people would call a normal When Only Love Remains guy which is why I believe this incident to be part of a much bigger picture where women have less value than men Overall it is a very important book that addresses a topic on which society needs to change Talking about pointing fingers at and understanding the subtle ways in which we socialize boys and Curse of the Missing Puppet Head girls will help change the rape culture in which we live


10 thoughts on “PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

  1. says: READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW

    READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva What is this about? South of Forgiveness is well about forgiveness Thordis Elva was raped by her then boyfriend Tom Stranger when she was 16 This book chronicles their meeting in Cape Town South Africa and their attempt to find their peace and their forgivenessWhat else is this about? Rape culture about date rape about the effects of it and the struggle to get past it Thordis is brutally honest in her accounts

  2. says: READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva

    READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva This is a very complicated emotionally charged book that will make you feel incredibly uncomfortable in a lot of different waysIt’s a bizarre project I totally understand the idea of wanting to confront this per

  3. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva This was a hard book for me to read Lets be honest people don't like to talk about rape and the rape culture that we live i

  4. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness I hear Thordis and Tom in a TED radio hour on Forgiveness and I am currently in training to be a volunteer on my local rape crisis center phone hotline The topic resonated obviously and I thought this might be a good book to pick up I am also t

  5. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW My ViewAn account of real life experience a memoir of sorts is hard to review where do you start? How do you give

  6. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

    READ & DOWNLOAD South of Forgiveness PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva This book had a lot of potential It’s premise was uite uniue rape perpetrator and survivor engage in years of correspondence over the crime and then meet in person again to try and come to a point of forgivenessUnfortunately the writing st

  7. says: FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva How do you go from hatred for someone else as well as for yourself to forgiveness and even some kind of friendship? This is a well written moving story It teaches so much About rape its conseuences and its context about guilt and mostly it reminded me how strong humans are I felt for both those souls

  8. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva Excellent book well written brave and truthful This book is a breakthrough with a lot of wit and beauty as well as raw pain

  9. says: Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

    PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva One of the most remarkable books I've ever read co authored by a rape victim and her rapist though both object to those labels and in particular to being defined by themI first heard about this book on the car radio on Woman's Hour with both of them appearing together on it to tell their story I was so gripped that when I got home I stayed i

  10. says: PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva

    FREE DOWNLOAD Ü FINDARTICLES.CO ↠ Thordis Elva PDF READ South of Forgiveness õ Thordis Elva Thordis Elva ↠ 1 REVIEW Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars It is hard to rate a book like this one

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  • Paperback
  • 320
  • South of Forgiveness
  • Thordis Elva
  • English
  • 10 August 2018
  • 9781911344056